Gladys Kravitz Alert

In these post-burglary days, I mostly have moments of clarity.



Yesterday, though, I morphed into full-blown Gladys Kravitz, famed Bewitched neighborhood nuisance.

I'd spied an unfamiliar woman who’d been sitting at our intersection's curb for an hour, eyes on traffic flow, cellphone in hand. I guess she saw me – I mean, really, how could she not? I had pulled out a camera.

She apologized for spooking me, that she’d heard from her friend -- another neighbor -- about the burglary, knew it was fresh on my mind.

Right about then, the AAA truck arrived.

Madame Kitzes and the Language Barrier

I'm sitting in Beginning Spanish but the voice in my head is Madame Kitzes, my high school French teacher.

Thanks to Madame, much of what Señora Joseph teaches about verb conjugation, gender agreement and numbers feels familiar.

Learning Spanish isn’t going be difficult, right?
Then it's my turn to answer a homework problem.

I open my mouth and "los libros interesantes" comes out like I'm a bumbling tourist in Paris. Rusty high school French pronunciation.

Señora Joseph's eyes widen. Her head shakes. So does mine.

Oh. No.

Madame: Que faire maintenant?

Writers on Writing -- Marketing Hope

My favorite example of "marketing hope" is the publishing industry's onslaught on would-be authors anxious to trade day-job cash for holy grail secrets -- how to write better, pitch editors, make a living as a writer.

My bookshelf has its share, some purchased full retail, but most bought for $2 or less at library used book sales.

Some sales are better stocked than others. Unusual and interesting titles. Popular choices.

Like the offerings at Saturday's Friends of the Lafayette Library sale.

Good news for me. But I wonder ...

Did someone give up?

Annie Barrows: One Storyteller's Truth

Recently, at Friends of the Lafayette Library's Sweet Thursday Literary Salon, Annie Barrows, co-author of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (#3 - NY Times Bestseller List), shared tales about her aunt, Mary Ann Shaffer, the story’s now deceased original author.



A long-time living room storyteller, Shaffer's turn of phrase was legendary.

Favorite quote …

Barrows, on how she’d addressed rewrites successfully, despite joining the project late, after Shaffer’s cancer diagnosis:

“I knew how (my aunt) told a story because she’d been telling me stories since before I knew they were stories.”

Home Invaded -- Key Repairs

In 1985, this Fichet key opened Apt 5E, 66 Madison Avenue, New York City.

"A pro takes 6 hours to pick it," the locksmith said, 2 hours after the guy who stole my roommate's purse and keys aborted his first attempt to hit the apartment.

This week, one of my sons asked, "Are we going to be okay?"

Insurance replaces things, I told him. But … it’s up to us to rebuild our feeling of security at home. That takes time. We’ll make changes.

We can do this. I promise: I’ve done it before.

Home Invaded -- Neighborhood Watch

Thieves Beware: Our neighborhood is on to you. We've been talking. Now we're watching. Stay away.

These aren't MY signs, but I'm glad to see news spread, even if it means I'm wearing today's dunce cap, stupid for forgetting to lock a door.

If I'd known about recent burglaries, I'd have double-checked locks.

Just like most of us did tonight.

Can you imagine how those jerks laughed, stealing so easily from so many?

To hell with that.

Information is powerful. Share it. Why should thieves be the only ones in the know?

Home Invaded

No Lie: Our television was there last night.

But it's gone this morning, along with laptop, game system, camera, more. YES -- STOLEN WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING DOWN THE HALL. Part of a neighborhood early morning plunder, including two stolen cars (not ours).

Quick Lessons:

1. It's easy to feel stupid.

2. Word travels quickly.

3. Everyone asks the same questions: Wasn't your door locked, didn't the dog bark, didn't you hear anything?

4. Each time you answer ... you feel stupid all over again.

MY QUESTION: What if we had woken up?

Those lessons ... could have been brutal.

Wall Street -- New Era, Same King

We were once desperate to be them --- commercial banks longing for investment bank status. Deals and fees. All the flash.

Reams will be written about the day two Wall Street giants fell. Hollywood is probably already negotiating options.

Will they remember the mid-1980's, when New York corporate bankers retooled to compete head-on with Wall Street?

How we argued with long-standing corporate clients that we were up to the task, investment banking was sexy but credit analysis was still king, we were good at it, and, no, it wouldn’t slow down their deal.

Crowdsourcing and Patti Digh -- Unintended Attention

Looking in the MEMOIR SECTION for Life is a Verb, Patti Digh's essay collection? Check SELF-HELP, instead.

Me? I'd put copies in REFERENCE, with writing books, and BUSINESS/ECONOMICS, alongside Jeff Howe's Crowdsourcing: Why the Power of the Crowd is Driving the Future of Business.

The book's back-story is a fascinating study in social media meets literary market -- one person’s need to give voice to life-changing epiphany and the growing crowd that keeps ramping up the volume on her microphone.

Details? Start with EllouiseStory's Digh interview, today’s stop on the book's blog tour.

Watered Fowl

I watched three, maybe four, near-identical GRAB and GO trips, the bird disappearing above roofline each time.
But when the bird grabbed the biggest piece of turkey, GO included a short layover at the fountain. Just enough time to double-dip the piece of turkey into the water.



What do you think: Religious inspiration, or a need to re-grab? Any chance turkey can double as canteen?

Hmmmm.

Perhaps that bird could no longer fight the voice in his head, mama bird's constant musings about germ warfare and the importance of washing dinner.

9/11 ... Patriot Waves

This growing band of citizen patriots have become a familiar sight on California's El Curtola Bridge since 9/11, when one man held his flag there after the attacks.

As crowds gathered for the 7th anniversary rally, the bridge cast a patriotic blur through my minivan windshield.
Up close, the action zoomed into individual patriot focus.










It reminded me of the tidal wave of patriotism that swamped individual difference in the wake of Sept. 11, when we chose to slosh through muck and mire together, buoyed by the hope of a country music song.

Resume Revival

Updated your resume lately, done the smell test, checked for expiration dates? 

Mine used to tell the tale of a former New York bank vice president turned freelance writer/editor. 

Now those finance deals are apparently resume dead, beyond expert-recommended resume freshness standards -- 10 years back, 15 max.

Check out career strategist Marilyn Moats Kennedy's gloves-off advice, Writing a Talking Paper aka a Resume:

"Nobody remembers the late 20th century and nobody cares."

Kill the back-story? 

Let's see ... Current communications professional, relevant skills. 

Has your story changed?

Lost Ends

Neighbors post alerts about dogs and cats, missing pets named Popcorn or Rocky or -- no lie -- Vince.

Always, there's the plea: Help.

Then days go by. Fliers yellow. Edges curl.

Are we still looking, I wonder. Is Muffin home?

Thursday night, though, news spread by police-activated computer voice to every telephone in the neighborhood.


Lost: 80-year-old, suffers from dementia, needs medication. Check your front and back yards.

Such high stakes seemed to deserve follow-up:

Thanks, we found him ... OR ... Search parties forming.

But ... the phone didn't ring.

Good sign?

Success for All

Patricia Henley’s new Glimmer Train essay, The Potholder Model of Literary Ambition, isn’t just another take on the writing life, one author’s ups and downs and lessons learned.

It’s really about you and me, those of us with preconceived notions of success, whether we’re writers or bankers or school bus drivers.

Henley reminds us: Look in the mirror. Ask yourself what you like to do even when no one’s looking, no one’s paying, no one else cares.

Make time for that and life is good. Success is yours.

So ... what's on your list?

Private Fun, Public Art

Was it slow-growth yard decor, one new birdhouse each year since 1982, two that summer they flew to Hawaii?



Or ...is it the grandma-likes-birdhouses safety gift, a misunderstanding gone wild that started when she mentioned one might look nice out front, near the trail?

Does it matter?

This birdhouse village is now private collection turned low-budget public art, a whimsical walking trail conversation starter.


Love it or hate it, part of the landscape.



Just like this eclectic porch display a few miles away.

What's on view in your neighborhood?